Playing Host
by SeMorgan
Summary: With Kevin out of town, Clyde is fukcing bored. One night Tweek shows up and need a place to stay. Cleek friendship, Creek and Stolovan   Even though Kevin isn't really there.


Well, Kevin had been out of town for two days, and I was already dying. There's not a single person I can bless with my awesome presence of sexiness. I could call Token, but Wendy is being an over-controlling bitch again. And I think Tweek had a date thingy with Craig. I honestly don't see the problem with me tagging along.  
>So since I had beaten all my old records on my Xbox, I was reduced to read. I swear I'm not kidding! Clyde Donovan was really reading a book! A kick-ass book I have to add. 'Percy Jackson and the lightning thief' is pretty cool I tell you. Yeah some people would say it's for kids between the age of 10 and 14. But come on; 'SpongeBob' and 'Teen Titans' is for the same age, but they still kick ass! Okay? Okay.<br>So there I was on my red colored beanbag reading about Greek gods. I could totally picture myself as a demigod killing monsters. I would probably be a son of Aphrodite ('cause I'm really that hot) or Zeus ('cause I'm really that awesome). My dreaming slash reading was brutally and rudely interrupted by three knocks quickly after each other.

Knock, knock, knock "Clyde!"  
>Knock, knock, knock "Clyde!"<br>Knock, knock, knock "Clyde!"

I knew it was Tweek. I swear that kid has to cut back on big bang theory. I opened the door, staring down at a red eyed and pissed small blond boy. It surprised me that he turned up like this out of the blue, but like the gentleman I am, I invited him in. Tweek stumbled in too my funky apartment and kicked of his shoes. It didn't take a genius (which I am) to figure out something had happened between Mr. Asshole and Mr. Caffeine addict. Still, being the nice guy I am, I had to ask.

"What happened this time?" I leaned against the wall as he hung up his coffee-brown jacket. That coat really makes him look like a chick, but it suits him.

"He's j-just so stupid!" He pouted, looking at me to see if I agreed. I snorted. Like I didn't already know that Mr. I-love-my-stupid-blue-chullo was a total duce. I nodded for him to continue. "W-Well, I was talking to C-Christophe and NGH C-Craig just told Chris to p-piss off! B-but whenever we see Thomas, We have to ACK hang out with him! "

I rolled my eyes. OFC Craig the emotionless bastard would do something like this. The guy was just jealous of the French, and he wanted to hang out with the Tourette's kid. The advanced professor Clyde, master of relationship and love would happily help them through the silly phase. Using my super skills called observation (even though Craig say's I'm blind); I could tell Tweek had left before they eat. I picked up the phone ordering pizza. After a long debate with Tweek about what we should have on the pizza, with the guy at the pizza parlor waiting in the other end, we ordered half with pineapple and pepperoni, and half with everything else on their menu. I don't really get people that disapprove of nachos on pizza, but what can ya do. The world is a crazy place. Tweek sat in a corner of the couch staring at TV. I could tell he was surprised it wasn't turned on. Sliding down beside him with a smug smirk, I picked up my book, like I was saying;' Yes indeed. I, Clyde Donovan, is really reading a book and not watching television! '

"What are you reading?" He still had big eyes, and he was sort off crossing the line between a bit surprised which made it flattering, and stunned, which made me look stupid. I continued smiling though, crossing my legs and handing him the book.

"I am reading about the demigod Percy Jackson and the cool, awesome and dangerous adventures he's on. " I watched him read the back of the book with a slightly interested expression. My grin grew lager as he handed the book back.

"I like gods. I don't believe in them though." I rolled my eyes at the statement. I knew Token, Kevin and Tweek followed the way of science, being atheists and all. But I still think it would be awesome if they were real, and you could be the son or daughter of a god. "Can I borrow the book when you're finished with it?"

" Sure. "He smiled and we stared at the empty TV, waiting for our pizza. The strange thing was that even when we have 'silences' with Tweek, you can always hear small noises he can't hold back. Right now, I couldn't hear a thing coming from his corner. I stared over, seeing Tweek fiddling with his shirt, and biting his lower lip. The strange silence continued until the doorbell rang. Jumping out of my seat, I headed for the door assuming it was the pizza. Amazed on how fast people can make pizza, I opened the door meeting a very pissed, very sweaty Craig. I wasn't really glad to see pissed Craig on my doorsteps when I was housing his hurt, scared and angry boyfriend. I decided to use my brain, and act like Tweek wasn't here.

"Hey dude, wazzup? " I tried to sound casual, but I'm not that good at acting. I guess I'm no son of Apollo but that's cool. That guy is stupid anyway. Craig was still trying to catch his breath, and I waited patiently, hoping Tweek didn't make any noises.

"Tweek. Is he here?" The small hope that he didn't ask for Tweek died, and I felt myself getting a bit uncomfortable. Luckily, there weren't any noises coming from the living room. I tried to look confused and tilted my head; "No he's not here. What happened?"

He narrowed his eyes. He obviously wasn't buying it. The silence continued, and I think he tried to hear if his boyfriend was in my living room. He gave up after not hearing anything, and I was impressed by Tweek's way to handle what usually was, to quote him correctly, 'too much pressure.'  
>I'd have to throw in a NGH or ACK depending on the situation though. Craig sighted and stared with a dark look in his eyes down at his feet. I heard him mumbling something about Thomas, Tweek and stupid. He turned around and jogged down the stairs until he was back on the street. He turned and looked at me with a bit sad eyes. I have to admit I got pretty shocked. I have never ever seen Tucker sad. He mumbled something about calling him if I saw Tweek, and I felt the tiniest bit bad for him. He jogged down the streets looking for the tweeker that sat in my couch. I stared after him for a while until a skinny boy came with our really needed pizza. I paid up for both me and Tweek 'cause I am a gentleman ya know, and I headed back inside.<p>

The sight of Tweek sobbing and crying is nothing you would like to see, I promise. Unlike normal people, he doesn't make a sound or even get a snotty nose like I do. Tweek starts to hiccup and he can't breathe. And yeah, he gets so blank eyes that I really want to poke them because they remind me of shiny thing. I like shiny things. I hurried next to the spaz opening the pizza box. The delicious smell of tomato, beef, cheese, nachos, bell peppers, pepperoni, pineapples and like, everything you can put on a pizza, filled the air in the funky apartment of mine. I desperately tried to make Tweek think of something else than Craig. I had this really good joke where I switched the T in Tucker with F, but I figured he wasn't in the mood. He stared at his half of the pizza (which looked really, really empty next to my side) and tried to calm down. I nibbled on a pizza slice and watched him carefully since he might have a panic attack. And if he got a panic attack, I would get a panic attack. And he would die because of lack of oxygen and I would cry.

"Distract me. " I jumped a little at his voice and I stared over at him. What did he say? He pulled his knees to his chest staring at the pizza. "I don't want to think 'bout Craig. Distract me."

"Umh…" I rubbed the back of my neck trying to think of something that would make a conversation. Tweek took a pizza slice and started to pick of the pineapple and started to nibble on the fruits. Pineapples are fruits right? There's no way pineapples are vegetables.

"Tell me about the Greek gods. Isn't there a god with a fork or something?" I gasped at him, dramatically pointing at his face. I really couldn't believe how he had just called Poseidon's trident a lame-ass fork.

"Dude! You did not just call Poseidon's trident a fucking fork! Apologize right now. I have a saltwater aquarium and I don't want to drown because you" I pointed at him and he made that sound a puppy makes when you step on it. "-pissed of a god!"

" What do I do?" He looked panicked. The thought of drowning didn't seem so appealing to him either. I rolled my eyes at him

"Well duh! You have to apologize to him!"

" How the hell do I do that!"

"Well just fold your hands and pray for forgiveness!" I watched him claps his hand together and pray like his life was depending on it. I mean, if Poseidon really was listening, his life would depend on it. But I figured I shouldn't pressure him like that. It was fun how he got so into it, even though he doesn't believe in gods. We sat in silence after he was done praying. We stared at the fish tank, waiting to see if the god had accepted his apology. It seemed like he hadn't, so I turned to Tweek with a serious face.

"He hasn't accepted it." I watched Tweek's face twist in horror, and he made one of those meep noises not discovered by mankind. ..Well I guess it has been discovered, since Tweek makes it, but back to the point. I glared over at the aquarium sighing. "We have to sacrifice something."

" What! CLYDE! I DON'T WANNA! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" fuck, he thought I meant him? Well, it made sense seeing how paranoid that kid is, but it hurt me how he thought I would drown him. I had to slap him and then I pointed at the pizza. He blushed and stared at his feet. "So…you meant the pizza, and not me? "

I nodded at him. We stared at the pizza, and decided it had to be done. Tweek and I stood up, taking a pizza slice (one of Tweek's) and tossed it into the aquarium, again begging for forgiveness. I smirked, happy that Tweek understood to never ever call the trident a fork again. We stood like that staring at my fish eating his pizza for like five minutes until we sat down and started to eat again. Percy and the gods (that would make a cool band name) kept our conversation going between the mouthfuls of now cold pizza.

"So who is you favorite character in the books?" Tweek eat the pizza carefully, like he was used to eat pizza with a fork and knife. I felt a bit bad for him, 'because that would mean he had a terrible childhood. Sometimes my observation skills are a bit hard to deal with. I refocused on the question he had asked me, and it made me think. In the books I liked Grover, Annabeth and Percy, and in the movies I liked Grover, Zeus and the monsters. Fine, I only liked Zeus in the movies because Sean Bean is acting, but that man is god. Heh, I guessed the part was more than perfect for him. Still, I guessed I would have to say that Grover is my favorite.

"I think the coolest one is Grover Underwood. He's a satyr. And he's really cool. He likes enchiladas. "Tweek snorted and smiled at my last comment. Yeah I really like Spanish food. Tacos and burritos you know?

"So if you had to be a mythological creature you would be a satyr?" He hadn't even finished his first pizza slice.

"No way dude, if I had to be a mythological creature I would be a centaur or something else with a huge dick." I smirked as his whole face turned red and he spitted out his pizza. He tossed a pillow in my face and I couldn't help but laugh.

" STFU!" I grinned at him as I copied him.

" STFU yourself" I nodded at him throwing the pillow back. This could be a start of a fabulous pillow fight with an embarrassed and pissed Tweek. Obviously he didn't want to play.

" GTFU Clyde." Well that was something I hadn't heard before. I tilted my head in the cute puppy dog way.

" WTF?" He started giggling, not getting how I really was serious and that I didn't understand what the fuck GTFU meant. I pouted and turned on the television. I surfed briefly through the canals before Tweek grabbed the controller.

"OMG!" He pointed at the TV with a huge grin and I stared in disbelief. Tweek had seen Megamind? And he liked it? I smiled as he turned back to the television with huge eyes. I leaned back getting ready to enjoy the movie yet again.

" Megamind FTW!"

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><p><strong>What <em>is <em>this shit I don't even know I just got bored.**

**YEah I'll write another chapter later. I'm a lazy lady in pink.**

**I will forever love you if you Review**

**I'm of to watch Megamind, THUDELU**


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